Back to the blog...

I took quite a long hiatus from blogging due to unforeseen personal circumstances that just made me change my priorities, circle the wagons, get back to basics and get over some pretty huge wounds inflicted by people who should have known better but somehow, inexplicably, didn't.

So I was thinking about what I'd like to say after a year away, and it occurred to me that the shift in my priorities ought to be the focus. So here's the thing. After being ripped off by unscrupulous remodelers, losing over $100,000 in the process, facing four kids' college tuition with no money and no retirement money, dealing with bitterness, loss of faith in God, and severe emotional pain that left me on the outside of an organization I thought I'd see through until the day I died, I came to the conclusion that we walk through this life alone -- not completely alone but nothing is secure here beyond our own personal walk with God and our own interactions with other human beings. I trusted the wrong people, probably through some inner fault of mine that kept me from holding them accountable because I was insecure and underconfident. The thing is, if God has given us free will, and He says He has, that means other people have free will, too, and their decisions affect our lives. But ultimately, God is there in the midst of it all.

Learning the hard lessons -- always the hard way, it seems -- has left me vulnerable in some areas and hardened in others. I tend not to trust people as easily now and when bad things happen I tend to mistrust God as well. The important lesson I learned is that God can take that. He knows our frailties, fears, and concerns. He knows the deepest longings of our hearts, and already knows how we're going to react. The truth is He loves us in spite of our sin and sent His son because of our frailties. It's comforting to know that He has our backs when we're wrongly accused and is ever present -- ready to comfort us.

Hilary in La Boheme with Opera Carolina!

Congratulations, Hilary! You did an absolutely amazing job performing in La Boheme. We're so proud of you for heading up there in the middle of a snowstorm. What dedication and grit you have! And what a great dad to drive you up there... LOL!

You made a beautiful marching band member. We love you!

Hannah has been accepted to Berklee College of Music, so she's headed to Boston in the fall. We drove her down to Atlanta for an audition and interview a few months ago. She didn't want to tell anyone in the opera she was audi- tioning just in case she didn't get in... But she DID get in! And we just found out they only accepted around 16% of all their applicants this year.

Way to go, Hannah-Bella!

The ferocious beasts we love...

Musings...

It's been some time since I've posted anything on this blog. It seems I have no words left. Life has been quite a train wreck lately. But, you know, God has faithfully whispered in my ear, every step of the way, "this is the way, walk in it!" As we walk, we sometimes stumble, sometimes scurry too fast and miss a blessing, other times wallow for too long in the moat instead of walking the bridge above it. It's all a part of the journey. And meanwhile, feather touches of joy pierce through if we stop long enough to feel the dusty brush of them.

Here's to the new co-op, our new addition, the future sale of our home, and all else God has planned in the coming months...

Yours when walking mountain crags and breathing in pure bliss and when sludging through muck and mush and wishing life would cease to be unpleasant,

Megan Elizabeth

Hannah and Tim dressed in 19th century garb...

Reptilian event... Jesse!

Snake belt... Good on ya, Jesse!

Reptilian event...

Drew wearing a snake scarf... You had to be there!

What's the world coming to???

The latest in a string of crazy pro-choice quotes I've encountered. Why can't we talk sensibly about this subject? Sheesh!

If something is inside my body, I'm entitled to have it killed no matter what it is. If all the human beings on Planet Earth--innocent and guilty, unborn and already-born, great and small, young and old, rich and poor, smart and stupid--were assembled somewhere inside my body, along with Baby Jesus, Almighty God, and the Flying Spaghetti Monster, then I'd be entitled to holocaust 'em. That's part of the meaning of the word "my" in the phrase "my body".

Cleaning up the messes...

I've been posting a lot at SGM Refuge lately. I attended a Sovereign Grace church for a few years in the nineties with troubling results. My walk of faith darkened as I was taught how truly sinful a person I was. My sweet love for Jesus my Savior, Shepherd, and friend disintegrated as I was taught he went to the cross obediently to satisfy the intense wrath of His father, God. Wrath which I deserved. Week after week, I endured these lectures on my sinfulness until one day something unusual happened. A revival broke out in Toronto at the Airport Vineyard Christian Fellowship and it spread southward to our church in Virginia. People began to worship with abandon, to weep tears of joy, to laugh uproariously at the goodness of God. The more people were freed from bondage to legalistic sin-seeking in both their own lives and the lives of others (through accountability groups and weekly confessional meetings), the more ferociously the pastors clung to their Reformed doctrine and rabid sin-seeking. It began to be quite puritanical.

SGM Refuge is a website where those who have been wounded, lost faith in God, lost their previous true, valid perception of God, were disfellowshipped, or otherwise harmed by a SG church can meet together, receive comfort and healing and provoke repentance on the part of those who injured them. It's tough to forgive people who harm you, but you know, a happier life awaits those who do. I almost think it has to be a divine work of God to forgive certain things -- child molestation or abuse, among others. But when these things happen within the church, it's a deeper work than forgiveness. You have to also warn others not to go to a place that will not only cause them harm but is labeled a place to find shelter. There's a certain obligation to the unknowing public on the part of those of us who have knowledge about the flaws within these churches. If we know, for example, that a 15-year-old boy has molested a preschooler and is still serving as an assistant in the three-year-old class at his church, there is an obligation to protect that I believe precludes that obligation not to talk about others (gossip). These are the sorts of things I've been sorting through at Refuge. I invite your insights and comments on the subject as I'm just now getting a real grasp on what it is that compels me to continue commenting over there. I have not attended one of these churches for ten years, yet I still feel earnestly compelled to warn people. Is this okay to do when I haven't heard for myself any of these pastors for a decade?

What do you think?