Time for the Great Christmas Wrap Up

And by wrap up, I don't mean presents because there probably won't be too many. It's slim pickins this year! But we have each other. And what I mean by that is that we really, truly do have one another's best interest at heart. We pray together, sing together, laugh together. What more could a family need? Certainly not a bunch of wrapped packages tied up with string. My favorite things are much more substantial than that.

We have love.

So great a love that it's uncontainable and spills out into one another's lives on a daily, sometimes moment by moment basis.

We have peace.

That feeling of contentment that leaves you drifting off to sleep in one another's arms or all snuggled together under the Christmas quilt we nod off while watching White Christmas with a mug of wassail in our hands, which someone graciously grabs at the last minute and places securely on the table.

We have joy.

This is the biggie for me this year and hold onto your hats, your chairs, your wigs, your everything because God worked a miracle in my life this year that is gonna knock you right onto the floor when you hear it.

I struggled with clinical depression for at least 30 years. The initial trigger was a trauma that happened around age 13, followed by an even bigger one in early adulthood. I was crippled by it but learned over the years to just press on, keep plugging away at this thing called life. I didn't expect anything great out of life since my brain wouldn't allow it. I just basically hoped no one I loved would die before I did. Simple wish, eh? Well, after my favorite aunt, my grandfather, three uncles, my father, and my cousin all died (my cousin was murdered), I was virtually shell-shocked.

The depression deepened.

I tried several different medications with varying success. The drugs were most successful at adding weight to my hips. They're REALLY good at that! But the depression only got worse. Finally, I had reached the end. Thoughts of suicide filled my mind when I least expected them. Driving down the road. Trying to fall asleep at night. I had tried everything I knew how to do to get back to a healthy place with NO success whatsoever. There didn't seem to be much hope left, despite the fact that my husband and children needed me. I was only staying around for them, not me.

That must have been what God was waiting for. Either that, or He just decided to do something big to glorify Himself. I took my girls on a special girl trip to Virginia and we went to our old church (The Chesapeake Vineyard). Once there, a friend of mine, who coincidentally also suffers from depression, asked how I was doing. I said, "I should probably be medicated." She placed her hand on my forehead and said, "God, medicate her." Then someone tapped her on the shoulder and she walked away to answer a question. I left.

We went to a friend's house to visit. We went to the beach to get a suntan. We went back to my sister-in-law's house. Throughout the next day, I felt strange. My hands and feet kept feeling like they were floating upward. It was hard to walk. I felt so light I was afraid to drive. The girls told jokes that made me laugh uproariously. They stared. Finally, one of them said, "What's wrong with you? You keep laughing all the time!" That's when it hit me.

I WASN'T DEPRESSED ANYMORE!

This was big news. So I called my husband and told him about it (which is hard to do when you're sobbing happy tears into his ear). He did what any man whose wife has suffered from depression for as long as he's known her might do. He didn't believe me. When we got back home, I was able to cook and bake and laugh and let painful situations roll off me and counsel friends and love people and... live. He was shocked. Stunned. Amazed. We cried. I think I've cried more over the past few months out of happiness than I ever did when I was depressed!

I don't know why God chose to work a miracle in my life and why He doesn't do the same in other people's lives. It remains a mystery. God remains a mystery. I guess if He didn't, He'd become predictable and would more closely resemble Santa Claus than God. But boy, am I thankful! Every new day holds promise. Good things are expected instead of bad. When bad things happen -- and they constantly do -- I am better able to handle them.

Life is good again!

And you have NO idea how dramatic a change this is for me. Because I was the strong, silent type. But now you know.

So rejoice with me!!!

As you celebrate Christmas, opening presents, sipping cocoa, caroling, hanging out with family, remember that God is still in the miracle-working business. And that He loves you. And when you think of me, I hope you smile.

Merry Christmas!!

Hannah (alias Dorothy) with Cosette (alias Toto) and Ella-bella...

Hannah, Grace, and Hilary and Hannah and Nik

Check the SAT off the list...

Hilary and Tosca and Hilary and Rachel R.




The girls took their SATs yesterday. Now the scores, whatever they may be and God help us all, will be sent to the colleges they're applying to. The next step is getting Hannah's audition cd made before Dec. 15. And all financial aid forms filled out. And Christmas? Oh yeah, we want to celebrate the birth of the Savior of the world, too!!

The reason for the season. The hope that is in us. The anchor of our souls.

Yes.

As we work through all the paperwork, let us remember to celebrate with friends and family the great and glorious gift! And while we're at it, a little chocolate, a bit of wassail, twinkling lights, caroling by candlelight, reading from Tasha Tudor's Take Joy, and acting out the Christmas story -- starring Steve as the donkey, as usual!

With all the joy that characterizes this magnificent season,

Megan

Creative, Talented Children...

Revie and Hannah and our talented Mr. Bundles, Drew!

Overwhelmed, Overworked, and Underpaid... (with big dividends)

Getting two girls into college at the same time is a strange and surreal thing. Doing it while seeking freelance writing gigs, gainful employment, finishing up a home remodel and preparing to sell a house, and homeschooling two boys is quite a daunting task. I am completely overwhelmed!

Hannah wants to go to Boston Conservatory and study to become an opera singer. A noble and exciting launch into the world of the arts. But this requires an audition cd complete with accompaniment. We found an accompanist who will make a cassette tape for us, but in this day and age it seems inappropriate to sing along with a cassette. We're looking for someone who can play the pieces onto tracks on garage band (I love my Mac!) and then Hannah can lay the vocal tracks on after that. But who can do this for us?

Meanwhile, our Hilary is pursuing acting. She has the highest IQ of any of our children and frankly it's undoubtedly higher than either mine or my husband's, but she wants to act. Ouch. So she has to audition, too. We can't just fill out applications and send them off on a wing and a prayer. Oh no! It can't be that easy!

Okay, I'm mouthing off about all this, but the truth is I'm as pleased as can be that we've homeschooled four children and made it through the entire way with two of them. That Hilary's SAT score is going to be through the roof is very gratifying. That Hannah has taken at least a full year of college already and possibly two is equally gratifying. And the time and effort it's taking to get them into college is more than worth it. I love these crazy kids!

Now I must run -- time to take three of them to fencing so they can defend their honor if anyone ever challenges them to a duel. And who knows? Maybe the boys can get fencing scholarships when they go off to college?

Yours -- when I'm so busy I don't have time to write a word and when all I do is sit and surf mindlessly,

Megan Elizabeth

Celebrate!

Yeah, Baby!

Sleepy Suzie...

Well, my daughter has a boyfriend again. They broke up for a while. Long story. But now he's back in our lives, and he was over here again last night until around 11:30. Which, of course, means our daughter couldn't fall asleep until 1:30 am. Oh, the thrill of young romance, texting all your friends, and Facebooking how your evening went. Then, of course, she was hungry. So she clanked around in the kitchen for a while. Do all 16-year-olds stay up this late?

I went online, checked Facebook for a while, goofed around talking politics with my friends who I knew would not answer my emails until the morning because, unlike me, they were sensible people. I googled someone I knew seven years ago. Watched an old episode of Mad About You (they're all old episodes by now). Then, just as I was headed to bed, my son woke up and climbed in beside me. It's as if he can't sleep once all is quiet. A little noise must comfort him enough to stay in his own bed. Once that's over, he stumbles across the hall and into mine. It never fails!

After a fretful few hours of sleep, most of it coverless and squashed, I heard my husband's alarm go off. It was 6 am and I had hardly slept. So now I sit in a quiet house amid sleeping children. It's 10 am and I can't fall back to sleep again.

Not a creative post, nor an enthusiastic one. But share my pain, will ya?

Critique group is tonight... Looks like that coffee's gonna hafta be caffeinated!

Yours -- consciousness raised or not,

Megan Elizabeth

Savvy Samantha...

I've been thinking a lot lately. (some of you are saying, "It's about time!") But seriously, I've been thinking about the election coming up in November and about the many people I have spoken to who are voting for Obama because he's black or, sadly, for McCain because he's not. That conversation only happened once, but it gave me the heebie jeebies! Not a close friend -- someone I barely knew, but still...

It finally occurred to me that these people are just not savvy enough to be voting. This conversation came up because I took my daughter to see the movie, The Duchess, yesterday. Women didn't have the vote during that time period, of course. But not many men did, either. They were selective in who they extended the freedom to vote to. Now that's not good, old-fashioned American freedom. But when I meet people who are voting for their candidate because he can dance well with Ellen on her talk show or because they think he's more "presidential" that bugs me! Have real, solid reasons to elect your candidates, people!

As for me, I have become Savvy Samantha. A friend of mine included me in a thread on his Facebook page that has led to well over 300 messages among a group of five people -- two solid Republicans, a Democrat, and Miss Independence (me). I've learned that Barack Obama has some pretty scary connections to Socialism, bordering Communism. I've also learned that McCain has an anger management problem and his former army buddy and POW in Vietnam is worried about him having his finger on the nuke button. I've learned that Barack Obama has received millions of dollars in donations from the very people who got us into the real estate crisis. I've also learned that he refused to vote yea on the Born Alive Act in Illinois, effectively assuring that any child born alive after an abortion will be smothered. Some have called him complicit in infanticide. Others have suggested that the people who say that are insulting him the worst way because he loves children and would never favor infanticide. A woman named Gianna Jessen, who survived a saline abortion 31 years ago disagrees with them. Thankfully, a nurse called 911 and she was rushed to a hospital for prenatal care.

I want to be savvy when it comes to my writing, too. I want to research the market, target my submissions so I don't waste an editor's time, revise my work so that it stands a fighting chance before I ever submit it, and perhaps most important, never give up! Savvy Sam will rise to the top of the slush pile because her manuscript is not in a brightly colored envelope with jingle bells dangling from it. Her cover letter is businesslike but still friendly, informative yet personable. Her queries are succinct because editors are as swamped with queries as they are slush. And one day, hopefully very soon, the creative creature within Savvy Samantha will have wrought a magnificent masterpiece (enough alliteration -- that could sink her chances altogether!)

Yours -- throughout each and every stage of the process,

Megan Elizabeth