Where's the padded cell when you really need it?

It started out like any other morning. I slept through the alarm, leaped out of bed, threw on some fuzzy slippers and jumped into the car to take my daughter to school. It was 7:00 and school begins at 7:15. I did not want to have to go to the registrar's office and sign in my daughter late wearing fuzzy slippers, so you can just imagine what kind of driving I did to get her there.

Next up, my other daughter. She needed her college ID to take a test at school, but couldn't find it. In true motherly style, I located it immediately, just in time to get her in the car and drive her to the bus stop. We got there as the bus was pulling up. I was proud. I got back home just in time for her phone call from the fire station around the corner from the bus stop. "I forgot my bus pass and I didn't have any money, so I missed the bus." The fireman waved at me knowingly as we drove off and headed uptown toward the college. I asked if she ate breakfast. No, she hadn't. I reminded her she had class until 3:20 and asked when she expected to eat breakfast. I dunno. Now, this girl has never had a problem coming up with things to say. She's turned out to be a very dramatic and social young woman despite our best efforts at isolation. (We homeschooled her, but even that horrible undersocialization didn't work. Guess we'll have to try something new.)

I finally made it back home to find a note on my door from the water company. Our water was turned off because of nonpayment. Huh? A water bill came to my house and I didn't pay it? Where could that bill be? I searched and searched and came up empty. So I called and paid over the phone. Then I called the electric company, gas company, and Time Warner cable. Everything was paid up. So where was that skanky water bill hiding?!?!?

While I was on the phone with these creditors of mine, I noticed that someone had balanced the drawers of our brand new dresser precariously on top of my new nightstand. They tumbled down and the edge chipped off of one of the drawers. It's no longer new. It's now officially "scratch and dent" merchandise. And I'm getting miffed!

As I was searching for the water bill, I found my daughter's symphony pass. We could have gone to several free concerts, but we missed them since the pass was no longer on my desk. Hmmmm....

I am not the most organized person in the world. We have too many pets and too many children. I'm not particularly well suited to lots of commotion. I'm more the introspective type who longs for lush greenery, singing birds, long romantic walks amid rose gardens with my man. Instead, I've got bird poo on my carpet, toys and junk all over my house, workmen in my bedrooms, and wii-playing kids whooping and hollering in the living room. What is all this -- bad karma from a past life? (Just kidding!)

I called the water company three times. I obsess over things like this for some reason. I must be slightly neurotic or something. They assured me the water would be turned on within 48 hours. 48 HOURS!! Toilets cannot wait that long to be flushed. I draw the line. After the third phone call, they must have had mercy on me because an indistinguishable white truck pulled up in front of our house and a man slid out, kneeled down in our front yard and flipped a switch of some kind. The water was back on. How do I know all this? Because I had been sitting on the front steps waiting for him ever since the last phone call. Yup. Obsessive.

Happily yours amid the stinky stuff that happens to everyone -- at least I hope it does or I'm being singled out!!

Megan Elizabeth

I don't ask for much...

It hit me this morning as I was sitting on the porcelain throne. He'd done it again.

Now, when I say I don't ask for much, I mean it. I have lived amid chaos for a very long time. We have four children, two dogs, a guinea pig who lost her companion a year ago and is now very needy, a rat who lost two companions recently (we're starting to think she's a vampire), a cat named Tosca, a turtle named Tyrant, a parrot named Sheenu, and a hermit crab whose name escapes me. The dogs aren't properly housebroken. The parrot shrieks early in the morning and giggles softly all night. My temper flares, as do flashes of humor on rare occasions.

We're talking chaos.

Add to that a large remodeling project and you have one sassy, middle-aged soul...

Who doesn't ask for much. Only Charmin Ultra.

But he did it again. He went and bought whatever toilet paper was on sale, and I am greatly chagrined.

Yours,

Megan Elizabeth, T.P. connoisseur supreme

Where does the time go?!?

I took a month off work -- my freelance work, I mean. I told my clients I was going to work on my house which is still not completely remodeled. I'm fast running out of money and where has the time gone? My monthlong hiatus is at an end, and I have mounds of laundry, ceilings that are not painted, floors needing tile -- and the exterior of the house still isn't done either.

But if I don't start working again, we'll lose the blankety blank house and then what will it matter?!?!?

So here I sit amid the clutter, boxes, clothes, and yes, birdie doo-doo, waiting to be rescued by the flylady house cleaners and the remodelers who remodel for the sheer pleasure of it (they'd have to since we're out of cash).

And you know the worst part? I thought I would get one or two of my manuscripts completed this past month while I wasn't working on marketing or direct mail or magazine articles. I am thinking it's not going to happen in this stage of life. Between the piddling doggies and squawking bird, I'm pretty maxed out. Oh, and I have children, too. You'd think we would have figured out after twenty years of marriage and four children how to save a buck, raise a kid, and wrangle a couple of pets, but I am totally and completely without a clue at this point. I guess that's what puts spice into life! Spontaneity! Sudden anxiety! Loss of life! (We lost a rat over the Easter holiday -- poor thing died in my son's arms at which point blood came oozing out of her eyes. Not a pretty sight. And we were out of town at the time buying furniture and rugs.)

Never a dull moment, I tell ya!

Yours -- when all seems lost and time stands still (gee, I sure wish it would, so I could catch up!)

Megan Elizabeth

Happy Resurrection Day!

The Lord is risen indeed.

: )

Megan Elizabeth

Blue Mountain Arts accepted my poem as a test market entry...

Well, it looks like I have tentatively breached the previously locked door that marks the entrance to the greeting card market. Yea!

My dear friend Donna who is always so very supportive told me about this market, and I decided to try my hand at a Father's Day poem. A few short weeks later (wouldn't it be great if book publishers got back to you this fast?) I received an acceptance. They're placing it in a test market. If it sells well, I will get a quick $300 and a byline inside the greeting card. Then it will hit the stands across the country.

Cool, huh?!

Yours -- whether I'm accepted or rejected, sick or well, crazy or... nope, I'm always crazy!

Megan Elizabeth

Here's a link to Blue Mountain Arts submission info.

Hilary speaks to Barack Obama (No, not THAT Hillary!)

Well, you just never know what each new day will bring, do you?

I picked my daughter up from school, then went to the Community College to pick up my other daughter. There was traffic. Lots of people milling around CPCC, waiting in line near the stadium. Barak Obama was in town.

The girls asked if they could go in and hear him speak, and I thought, "Yeah, why not?" We're conservatives politically and vehemently opposed to offering women the choice to abort their unborn children. We're also environmentalists who support gun control. There really isn't a party that can hold us. However, we have always voted according to conscience and when it comes to supporting life, be it the lives of sea fowl being killed as a result of oil slicks, endangered species struggling to survive in vanishing habitats, or, most importantly, unborn humans whose parents believe they have the right to stop their hearts from beating, their brains from functioning, or as Juno learned, their fingernails from growing, we choose life.

So we're basically Republicans.

But Hilary went to the rally anyway, got up out of her seat, walked over to the microphone, and asked Obama a question. She asked him what he would do to support young women with unplanned pregnancies. She was hoping he might say he'd offer government programs, funding for medical care, adoption assistance, the sort of thing a democratic candidate who believes in large, supportive government might say. Although he shaped his answer to address prevention and education, Hilary was still glad to have the opportunity to talk to him. We live in a country where that's possible. It was safe, free to the public, and as a sixteen-year-old American, she was able to ask these questions of a potential presidential candidate. That's a good thing.

Hilary is not bashful. She next called in to a conservative talk radio show to discuss her experience at the rally. And after the rally, she was interviewed by Fox News.

And where was I all this time? Standing out in the rain. I dropped the girls off, and while I went to park the car, the last person was admitted to the auditorium. So my two teens went in without me. Which I think is even better. What strong young women I have somehow managed to raise!

I only wish I had brought an umbrella...

Yours, amid life's twists and turns, hills and valleys,
(at least with us, it's always interesting!)

Megan Elizabeth

Wow. So interesting...

I watched the CMS Charlotte Mecklenburg School Board meeting on our local access channel last night. I don't think too terribly many people watch this channel. It gripped me, though, because the school board was so clearly split between conservatives and liberals. I noticed the differentiation almost immediately. And it's really rather strange. They were talking about a bullying policy. Although I am an independent politically, I have to admit I usually stray to the side of less government. I mean, take a look at the local DMV if you want to see your tax dollars in action. Not the brightest bulbs in the bunch and the beaurocratic red tape is ridiculous. But I digress.

The conservatives were articulate. They had real reasons for questioning the validity of the new bullying policy. They had copies of emails from constituents. These were quickly dismissed. They requested that a definition of bullying be included so no one could get away with it based on the lack of clearly delineated guidelines as to what constitutes bullying. Their requests were denied. They warned that the "training materials" which were to be used were created by the state gay/lesbian task force and may become "indoctrination materials" if not immediately sometime in the future. Their warnings went unheeded and they were mocked for being concerned that a group with a political and sexual agenda was going to have direct access to our school children K-12. Now, I'm not anti-gay. I have a couple of dear friends who are gay. That's not the point. The point is that my children's sexuality and the formation of their values regarding sex are just that -- mine! These kiddos came out of my body. I care more for them (see last post) than anyone else in the world does. I want to be the one who talks to them about sex, be it with the opposite sex, same sex, before marriage or after. That's my job. And the school board's job is to honor my decision to keep that job for myself. Because last I checked this was still a free country. Freedom is ringing more quietly these days. I'm concerned...

I don't think any new bullying policies need to be discussed when there are still children falling through the cracks, graduating without the ability to get into a decent college from overcrowded schools filled with undereducated teachers. Why undereducated? If you put all your money into new "bullying policies" rather than teachers' salaries, you're not exactly going to get the cream of the crop. My daughter had a teacher one year who couldn't spell very well. That is not acceptable.

Okay, off soapbox now...

Enjoying the lovely weather?

Utopia -- when homeschooling is legal in every state and abortion is not, when citizens care for one another, even pregnant runaways with uncertain futures,

Megan Elizabeth

In California, you now have to be a certified teacher in order to homeschool your own children!!!

The lazy, liberal supreme court of California has decided to virtually outlaw homeschooling because there would be “an unreasonable burden on the state to have to supervise each and every home in which a child was being educated.”

OUTRAGEOUS!!!

Who cares more about their children's welfare and well-being and academic progress and future success in this wickedly difficult world of ours? The California board of education or their mommies and daddies!?

I am so sick of people pigeonholing homeschoolers, deciding without meeting our children that they are unsocialized, undersocialized, undereducated, or even (gasp!) nerdy!!

My homeschooled daughter receives around 20 college letters each day. We had to start a filing system for them because she was getting overloaded. She recently entered the public high school easily and smoothly -- becoming the lead in the school play, getting asked out by about ten different hormonally charged boys almost immediately, making A's in her AP classes, and otherwise showing a tremendous aptitude for academic and social life. Her homeschooling enabled her to be confident in who she is, comfortable in her own skin, secure in her beliefs even when those around her are parroting the latest trendy political jargon. Here's a recent conversation she had with a boy at school.

Boy: You're pro-life? Weird. I thought everyone was pro-choice these days.

Hilary: Do you believe you have a soul?

Boy: Well, yeah, I guess I do.

Hilary: So when do you think your soul entered your body? When exactly is it that a baby has a soul?

Boy: I don't know. Nobody can know that.

Hilary: So you don't know when the baby has a soul, but you want to allow a girl to kill her baby anyway?

Boy: Oh, well I guess I never really thought about it.

Hilary: (eye roll...)

My other homeschooled daughter has performed in operas, children's theatre, on stage at the Charlotte Folk Society, etc. She is highly social and very comfortable ad libbing onstage before she begins playing.

I am so appalled at what is happening in our country. Haven't these legislators read Orwell's 1984? Do they really secretly want us to be a Communist nation? Didn't they see what happened to Fascist regimes in the 1940s? How can we allow our freedoms to be snatched from within our bosoms this way? Where has the conscience of America gone? As a nation, we have become so apathetic that this news in California rarely evoked a yawn from local news crews here on the east coast. Why?!?!?

I hope the good homeschoolers of California know that we support them wholeheartedly. And if lawmakers are listening, now would be the time to take back your power from the courts and draft legislation that will end this travesty of justice once and for all.

A final note...

Although I have homeschooled for 12 years now, I have met only one mother that I felt was unqualified to teach her children and that was because she had a learning disability, not because she was negligent in any way. 12 years and many hundreds of families later, I cannot say that I have EVER met a homeschooled child who was not fully prepared for college. Ordinarily, the homeschooled collegian is more studious, has better study skills, is more mature, has fewer problems with alcohol consumption and drug use, and in general is steady, stable, and ready to function in society. On the other hand, I have seen many a school kid dive headlong into trouble at college.

To penalize involved parents who have sacrificed a second income in order to provide their children with a better education than the public school could offer JUST BECAUSE IT WOULD BE DIFFICULT TO CHECK UP ON THEM is totally ridiculous. And deadly serious.

My sleeves are rolled up and I'm ready to duke this out. California, here I come!!!

Yours -- with steam coming out my ears!

Megan Elizabeth

Caedmon's Call

I took my daughters to a Caedmon's Call concert in Hickory last night. It was a splurge in the middle of tight budgetary constraints for the Hoyt family, but wow, was it ever worth it. They grew up listening to this music -- large and loud in the living room, booming from beneath the bathroom door, streaming out from the car windows on every road trip, short or long. They heard me singing along to every cd, watched me serve as a street rep, pounding the pavement to get more people to come to Caedmon's concerts, and in general, learned about God, about life, and about how to be a REAL Christian from these great folks.

Well...

We drove up to Hickory and were first met by friendly people who provided free hot dogs, chips, and drinks. We sat in the fifth row for what was an amazing concert -- two and a half hours of beauty. And the best part was watching my girls and realizing that while I was trying (and primarily failing) to instill values in them and teach them about our faith, they were soaking it up through the song lyrics. They sang along to most of the music, and huge grins swept across their faces when they caught the eyes of one of the band members.

But the best was yet to come.

After the show, the band went to a local coffee house where Andy continued to sing several songs off his new solo album. The others were available for a quick chat over coffee, and my girls were moved by their humility and openness to meet and greet new people in each town. My sixteen-year-old has been a little jaded lately. She's seen Christians act in ways that were unbecoming and lie or cheat on tests or even (shudder) grab another girl's goods in the school hallway after attending a Christian gathering the day before. I didn't want her to be so disheartened. I realize we're all just muddling through here really. But her faith was growing slim and her light dim. What an honor it was to watch these seasoned musicians tug at her heartstrings with their cheerfulness, their gentleness, their welcoming attitudes and availability.

The highlights?

When we moved from Virginia Beach, I listened to one Caedmon's Call song over and over. Hearing Derek Webb sing it (he had left the band to pursue a solo career for the past six or seven years and was back with the gang for this tour) was really special:

"Hometown weather is on TV
I imagine the lives of the people living there
And I'm curious if they imagine me
Cause they just wanna leave; I wish that I could stay.

But if I must go
things I trust will be better off without me
but I don't want to know
cuz life is better off a mystery."

We were singing that song in the car on the way home, and Hilary was digging around for a tissue in the glove compartment at the same time. Well, for some strange reason, inside the glove compartment was a photo of our old house in Virginia. She pulled it out and showed it to me as I was singing. I about lost it.

Other highlights...

Watching the coffee dude make bong coffee (you had to be there) and hearing "This World" and "Lead of Love" performed live, talking to Derek about Burlap to Cashmere, and the opportunity to pass along my thanks to Cliff for years of support during my darkest times. What a blessing.

So anyway, thank you Caedmon's Call for being so accessible for my girls, for signing Drew's songbook since he couldn't be there himself, and for writing all those amazing, deep, thought-provoking songs, and for taking the time to tolerate people like us who can't get enough of your beautiful music and whose lives have been changed because of it. It's not just the Compassion International kids you are touching. We're everyday people eeking out a living, cleaning our toilets, raising our kids, going to church, listening for God's voice in the car -- aided and abetted by your music. You guys fill our emptiest days with life more abundant. Hey, I think that makes you Jesus with skin on. Anyway, thanks.

Yours -- blissfully belting Forget What You Know or quietly whispering "You're no more than just a piece of glass" into the lying mirror each morning,

Megan Elizabeth

Who are you that lies when you stare in my face
Telling me that I'm just a trace of the person I once was
Cause we're not the same, you're just a picture of me
You're gone as soon as I leave; you've lived my life for me
And you're no more than a piece of glass