You see, I am a Christian.
Some people might be surprised to hear that after how I scourged them for breaking my heart 20 some odd years ago. (That was part of the lost loves post I have yet to gather the nerve to write!)
But it's true. I believe in God. I love God. And I believe He loves me.
I believe that He, with the vast knowledge that He has and that I DON'T have, decided the best way to handle our shortcomings, sin, and ruined thinking and acting -- the result of a fall from grace that occurred way before my time but that I would nonetheless have experienced had I been alive then -- was to offer his son as a sacrifice that would cover our sins, known and unknown, making us appear pure and holy before Him. You know, if I'm right about this whole "Jesus being real" thing and I believe I am, we will all one day come face to face with the Creator of the Universe. Do you want to do that as a pure, holy, blameless person or as the scum you really are? Yeah, I mean you! We ALL are, after all. Look how angry I got at Miss Colombia yesterday. Me! Holy, righteous Megan Elizabeth, God's little princess. I slammed this woman on the phone. Who did she think she was?
A child of God.
Oh.
Oops.
We all have sinned and fallen short. I for one am happy to believe that there is a solution. That I don't have to go around carrying all this shame. I'm not perfect -- I am walking this thing out with great difficulty and I have questions. LOTS OF QUESTIONS! Why are people being slaughtered, raped, brutalized? Why do young girls get sold as sex slaves? Why did my dear friend Wanda's precious nine-year-old daughter die of cancer? Why was my cousin murdered? And if he had to be murdered, why didn't You arrange it so someone found him? Why did the neighbor in the next apartment have to call the apartment manager because of the smell? My nephew has a heart defect, a brain defect, and mental retardation. Why does he also have to have scoliosis and acne? Why did my true love leave me without a word when I was 21? Why did I let him? Why does it still bother me?
I don't have all the answers. I don't even have a few. But what I do have is a relationship -- a friendship. No, it's more than that.
I love God. And He loves me.
Yours -- affectionately and "sheep"ishly,
Megan Elizabeth
P.S. For all my Jewish friends and relatives, check this out... http://www.inspiration.net/thinkitthru/ or just click on the link in this blog.
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